Bill Brown bio photo

Bill Brown

A complicated man.

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I don’t normally enjoy forwarded emails or humor-cloaked misandry, but the list below did highlight some of the differences between men and women:<ol><li>What do you expect from such simple creatures!?</li><li>Your last name stays put.</li><li>The garage is all yours.</li><li>Wedding plans take care of themselves.</li><li>Chocolate is just another snack.</li><li>You can be president.</li><li>You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.</li><li>You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.</li><li>Car mechanics tell you the truth.</li><li>The world is your urinal.</li><li>You never have to drive to another gas station because “this one’s just too icky.”</li><li>You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.</li><li>Same work, more pay.</li><li>Wrinkles add character.</li><li>Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.</li><li>People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.</li><li>The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.</li><li>New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.</li><li>One mood, ALL the time.</li><li>Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.</li><li>You know stuff about tanks.</li><li>A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.</li><li>You can open all your own jars.</li><li>You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.</li><li>If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.</li><li>Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.</li><li>Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (one black pair two sports pair)</li><li>You almost never have strap problems in public.</li><li>You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.</li><li>Everything on your face stays its original color.</li><li>The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.</li><li>You only have to shave your face and neck.</li><li>You can play with toys all your life.</li><li>Your belly usually hides your big hips.</li><li>One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.</li><li>You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.</li><li>You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.</li><li>You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.</li><li>You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.</li></ol>Okay, so it’s pretty stereotypical but there’s a lot of truth in there. Well, it made me chuckle at least.