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Bill Brown

A complicated man.

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Ooohhhh, I had all-you-can-eat Alaskan snow crab at Red Lobster tonight. I thought I overdid it, having four plates at ½ pound each plate. Our waitress let me know that my performance was, in fact, quite mediocre—easily bested by the gentleman who ate 20 plates of the crab and had room for desert. I didn’t ask about his girth, but it must have been considerable.

My two pounds of crab was plenty. Around the last three legs, I wasn’t exactly stuffed but I was sick of the taste of crab. Oh, and sick of removing the crab shell to get to the succulent meat. It was fun at first, but it got old real quick.