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Bill Brown

A complicated man.

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If there is a hell—and I don’t think there is—then I think an especially putrid level should be reserved for those moronic cow-orkers who use corporate mail systems to generate unsolicited commercial email aka spam. What sort of mentality thinks that everyone cares to read their drivel? At home, I can get rid of the spam but at work it’s not often obvious when something is spam since people craft sucky subjects.

In the last week, I’ve had some idiot asking 10 departments if anyone plays Halo, about five scalping tickets to Diamondbacks games, and one this morning—IN ALL CAPS, NATCH—soliciting a home for a “SWEET AND WONDERFUL COCKER SPANIEL” of indeterminate gender (“HE/SHE IS …”).

I’ve set up Outlook rules to capture most of the common variations (tickets, ticket, Diamondbacks, Cardinals—like we get any of those, dog, dogs, cats, cat), but the morons keep changing their wording. Just like their Internet brethren.